What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do

I was an avid kick-boxer last year from February all the way through August. I was committed, determined, and always present (in my mind, my body, . At 3 times a week for 45 minutes per class, I was toning every ounce of my body. Then I started swimming 2-3 times on top of the kickboxing sessions. I was probably in the best shape of my life. Kickboxing though, can be expensive, even though now when I look at it, it was worth it. So I stopped in September when school became crazy and I started making all of these excuses. I have no idea where those excuses were coming from…. I don’t have time anymore; I’m not losing any weight; I don’t have the money. Last year around this time I was on my way to being in the best shape of my life on my 27th birthday. I mean, I was doing more push ups than a man my age in military boot camp. Then I started Modified Paleo at the end of November all the way through the middle of December. I lost 5 pounds and was at my lowest weight in my whole life.

Then I went on a cruise. Then my friend died. Then Christmas and New Year’s came. Then work started up again. Then work got busy. Then I got lazy. Then I started eating everything.

Here I am, 8 pounds heavier, feeling yucky, and I’m about to be 28 years old. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a lot healthier than most people especially since I just had a full workup but I still get so down on myself for losing all the good I did for my body. For a few weeks now, I haven’t known where to start. And after a conversation with my friend, I realized that stress doesn’t help. But people and places aren’t the ones stressing me out, I’m stressing myself out. So I need to learn to relax and get back to the basics.

I know I’m not alone in this and for those of you that feel the same, don’t worry, you are not the only one. And you’ll get to it. Take baby steps. Read Perfect Health Diet by Paul and Shou-Ching Jaminet and just start small. Take a walk for 20 minutes. Swap something you normally eat for something healthier and be careful with sugar intake.

Just know you’re not alone!

 

I Don’t See Myself the Way Others Do

Sound familiar? My hair is too thin, I don’t like my eyes. My face is too fat, I don’t like my lips.

Those I’m sure, are only 2 examples, of how we see ourselves. We only look at the negative. Are we biologically trained this way? Or are these the traits we’ve taken or borrowed from other women in our life? And I don’t just mean in your family. Think about all of the women you’ve ever come into contact with. Think about all of the things you’ve heard. What sticks out? The positive? or the Negative?

I would like all of us to one day not look at the flaws. Stop finding things wrong and think about all that’s right with our bodies! What kind of example will I be to my (future) daughter if I can’t wake up, look in the mirror, and say to myself, “Good Morning Gorgeous, I hope you have a fantastic day today”. I just don’t do it, it’s not in my routine. Maybe that’s a problem. A big one. What woman wakes up in the morning and shouts off the rooftop, “My hips are just the right size!!”. Not any woman I know!

I haven’t been eating right for the last 4 months and all I’ll say is “I’m fat”. The truth is I’m not fat, I’ve only put on 4 pounds and I still weigh a hell of a lot less than I did when I was in college. Keeping all that weight off for all that time is in fact a victory and I know that I will get back on the bandwagon. But no one wants to hear me saying, “I’m fat”, most of all, me. So why am I saying it? Is it to be the first one to say it so my boyfriend or my mom aren’t the first ones to say, “you’ve put on some weight”? Even though neither one of them would ever do that? So what is it in me that has to make that note, that comment, out loud, to put out there in the universe? I’m sure if my loved ones don’t want to hear it, deep down inside somewhere, neither do I.

Dove for the past however many years has set up a beauty campaign called “The Real Beauty Campaign”. You’ve all seen their commercials featuring non 0 sized girls for their deodorant, soap and other products. They’ve recently released an experiment aiming to change the way women see themselves. The results were astounding. I’ll let you take a look for yourself. It was so incredibly moving for me because I don’t see myself the way I should, or the way that others see me and I know that that’s something that needs to change. Just remember, you are beautiful, I am beautiful and we have to start allowing ourselves to see that. Being happy starts on the inside!

The Dove Campaign Aiming to Change the Way Women See Themselves

100 Ways to Relax

1. Take a Long Drive.
2. Read a Book. In your sweatpants and a blanket.
3. Play with your dog or someone else’s dog.
4. Write. Feelings. Stories. Anything.
5. Paint. Sunsets. A tree. Anything.
6. Draw. Your hand. Your feet. Your room.
7. Cook. Saute. Scramble. Whip.
8. Bake some cookies.
9. Eat Cookies. And milk. Don’t forget the milk.
10. Drink. Wine. Margarita. Anything.
11. Get a Pedicure. It’s very relaxing.
12. Get a Massage. Don’t break the bank. Again.
13. Eat Nachos. Something peaceful about nachos.
14. Burn off the Nachos with Exercise? I don’t know. I don’t find this relaxing.
15. Yoga. The only relaxing exercise. Try Hatha Yoga.
16. Lay on the couch in silence.
17. Take a nap. One of those great naps, refer to the Scene from Friends in which Ross and Joey take the greatest nap together.
18. Talk to God. He’s a great therapist, he never talks back.
19. Swim. Pool. Ocean. Bay. Don’t freeze.
20. Go Shopping. Don’t become broke. Then you’ll be depressed.
21. Go to the Park. Walk around. Soak up the Sun.
22. Play with some kids. Kids you know. Not kids you don’t know.
23. Go to the Beach. On a quiet Peaceful day.
24. Garden. Plant. Dig. Get dirty.
25. Go to a Movie. Don’t diet. Get the popcorn, and the candy, and the soda. By yourself.
26. Take a vacation. A tropical location with a low tourist population would work.
27. Think of 100 things people could do to relax. It’s harder than it looks.
28. Play hookie from work. Don’t get fired.
29. Browse different ways you’d like to change your home. Use them for later when you can afford it.
30. Sunbathe. If you have that kind of weather. Don’t go out in a bikini in 30 degree weather.
31. Take a shower. Not an “oh my god, I’m in such a rush I barely have time to wash my hair shower”.
32. Have a pajama party with fun cocktails and board games and dips and snacks no one usually eats on a daily basis.
33. Actually take a break at work. And no, eating at your desk does not count.
34. Take a class. Something that interests you. Doesn’t have to be a degree specified course.
35. Research health and find out what’s going to work for you.
36. Train for a 5k. Again this may or may not involve the gym.
37. Paint a piece of furniture.
38. Sit under a tree. You can gain a lot of perspective.
39. Clean out a “junk room” or “junk drawer”. Sometimes when things are neater, I am calmer.
40. Plan something out on your calendar. It could be diet, exercise or even events.
41. Call an old friend, meet up or just chat.
42. Meditate. Not by doing any of the other things on this list. By really clearing out your mind, sitting up straight, and allowing your breathing to flow smoothly.
43. Find something funny and just laugh. Laugh, laugh, laugh.
44. Sing very loudly for hours at a time, it CAN be very relaxing.
45. Put sound barriers up, so no one else can hear you singing.
46. Watch an old movie. By old, I don’t mean Free Willy. By old, I mean a classic like Gone with the Wind or Old Yeller.
47. Take pictures. Play with your camera settings. Black and White. Sepia.
48. Scrapbook. Again, don’t break the bank. Scrap booking is so much fun when you’ve got a lot of photos to work with.
49. Sleep. By sleep, I don’t mean nap. If you’ve had such a long week. Close the blinds. Turn everything off. Get everything out of your head and sleep. It’s okay. The world will still be here when you wake up. Hopefully.
50. Take a slow-paced Walk. On a Sunny Spring Day.
51. Puzzles. You can find puzzle glue and hang them as art. Maybe?
52. Take a Bubble Bath and put your headphones in.
53. Make a list. Of anything. Everything. Refer to this List.
54. Clean. Sometimes cleaning can be relaxing. It takes a load off my shoulder.
55. Listen to soothing music. Enya. Dido.
56. Iron. Only works if you like to look clean, sharp and professional.
57. Take a Bicycle ride around your neighborhood.
58. Sewing. Holes in your shirts. T-shirt blanket. Anything.
59. Video Games. If you’re into that sort of thing. Angry Birds on the iPhone works quite well. As does 4 pics, 1 word.
60. Facebook. If you find this relaxing.
61. Make a Collage of all the things you would like to see in your lifetime. Use magazine clippings, newspaper stories, and pictures.
62. Buy a printer for said collage.
63. Flip through a Magazine.
64. Go for a Hike in a nearby trail or mountain.
65. Make your yearly doctors appointments.
66. Create a blog. Write about something that interests you that would help others.
67. Become a Mentor. In a foundation or your school’s alumni or career office.
68. Fly a Kite. Feel like a kid again.
69. Go Fishing. Eat the fish for dinner.
70. Listen to the birds. Or go somewhere where you can.
71. Walk barefoot in the grass. Feel the earth.
72. Make a ton of Breakfast foods and eat brunch.
73. Wash the car or take the car to a car wash.
74. Talk to a stranger. Ask them where they’ve been. Where they’re going.
75. Buy a fish and watch them swim.
76. Cook your weeks worth of food to bring to work or to eat at home and then you don’t have to cook.
77. Walk up and down a “Main Street” near your neighborhood and write down all your observations.
78. Buy yourself a box of chocolates and eat them without feeling guilty.
79. Count all the ways you’re thankful for the people and things in your life that some will be without.
80. Do one thing at a time.
81. Forgive someone.
82. Do or create a random act of kindness like buying someone’s coffee.
83. Sit by a fire in the chill air with some hot chocolate.
84. Go watch the sun rise or the sunset or both.
85. Go to Church. Pray. Sing. Listen. Love. Thank.
86. Build a model ship. If that’s your thing.
87. Drink some herbal tea. chamomile and Mint are very relaxing.
88. Drive out to the vineyards. Bring some crackers, some cheese, sip some wine. One of my favorite summer pastimes.
89. Go to a baseball game. Some find this relaxing. Sure. Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks!
90. Go skating, pull out your skates and roller blades and some padding if you’re clumsy like me!
91. Play catch, with someone who can actually play catch and don’t set off your car alarm.
92. Lie in a Hammock. If you have one.
93. Buy a punching bag and some gloves and fight it out.
94. Skype with a loved one that you barely see. It’ll not only make them happy, I’m sure it’ll make you happy too.
95. Visit someone you lost and put flowers down if you can. Sometimes the more chances you give yourself to say Goodbye, the easier it is to grieve. Sometimes it can lift some weight off your shoulders.
96. Create a Bucket List. Things you want to do. Things you’ve never done. Things you have time for.
97. Take a ride on a Boat. The water is always relaxing.
98. Find all natural alternative ways to clean your home. For ex: Ground Cinnamon and Cayenne pepper sprinkled near an ant entrance will deter them from coming in. Works Wonders!
99. Get rid of some old clothes and donate to charity. I always feel better when I do this and then I have more room in my closet!
100. Read this list any time you get bored or need to relax because I just spent 6 hours on it.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

You spill your coffee on your shirt on your way to work. You forgot to put deodorant on (don’t judge, you know it happens sometimes). At work, you seem to have a continuous day of difficulties with students. You come home to find another hospital bill even though you’ve submitted your insurance information twice and all that’s keeping you from reaching through the phone and strangling the billing department is your “you are a good person” mantra. Ants invaded your kitchen – the day before yesterday, yesterday and oh yes, today. You go to take the tag out of a brand new shirt you just bought and you rip your shirt.

Wake up at 5 am and clearly see every ray of sun rise up just as if you were seeing it for the first time.

Take a Yoga class, deep breaths in and deep breathes out.

Drive to the ocean no matter how far away it is. Take off your shoes and feel the sand between your toes. Listen to the waves crashing and how with each pounding the water always recedes and it always returns. Remember that you’re human and you’re alive. Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Spend all day thinking about how all those little things that got under your skin aren’t really the big things that take precedence in your life. You don’t have cancer. Your heart is in excellent condition. Your legs still work. Your arms and hands are vital to your everyday function and they’ve provided you with 27 almost 28 years of excellent service, they deserve an award. You know how to exercise, how to eat healthy, and how to swim. You will never let yourself go because you care too much. You have the value of 6 years of higher education. You are not poor. You have shelter over your head in the cold, in the rain, in the night, in the heat, in the snow, and in the sun. You have clothes to put on your back. You have shoes to put on your feet. Your socks don’t have holes in them. You might not have a time machine but you have a way to transport yourself from here to there. Public transportation is not a part of your daily life. You have enough money to do fun things and take vacations that most people can’t. You know God and God knows you. You have food all the time. You may loosely use the term “I’m starving” but it’ll never really be the truth. Never say Never.

Yes, you’ve experienced loss, heart ache and certainly other painful things that maybe another 27 year old hasn’t gone through and might not ever go through but you believe that people are given what they have the strength for and that in of itself is a daily victory. That in of itself is not a small thing, it’s a very very big thing.

Don’t sweat the small stuff because in the end, it’s not the big stuff. It’s just the small stuff. Let it roll off your shoulder and fall to the floor. Let your bad thoughts be lifted out of your mind and into the sky.

It’s not the big stuff.

Toby, the Menace

It was a beautiful Monday afternoon filled with the glory of Spring. The sun was shining, the temperature was comfortable (no jacket required) and I thought it was such a nice day to take a walk with my black lab, Toby. He hasn’t been socialized much and we’ve only taken him on a few walks because he’s so hyper and he’s so big that anyone could be easily dragged (even me, despite my super woman strength).

First rule in dog walking: bring plastic baggies for their poop? I suppose I always pray and imagine a day where my dog will not poop in public. First mistake. 3/4 through our walk, my beautiful black lab, Toby, pooped right in the corner, very close to the curb. I felt so embarrassed for him and felt so bad that I was trying to drag him off the lawn mid poop. I mean imagine if it were humans? Gross.

Second rule in dog walking (with a male dog): don’t let him mark every mailbox on the street. My bad! My poor dog thinks the whole neighborhood is his playground when he’s out walking! Who am I to deny his one and only Male trait? The poor dog had his balls removed (and not the ones you throw), is that not enough? And he didn’t even know how to pee like a boy for a very long time and I still catch him squatting most of the time. So gosh darn it, if he wants to lift his leg whether he’s got pee left or not, I am going to let him lift his leg. Certainly NOT on absolutely everything but on a select few things, yes. You go Toby! And to the Mister on my road who got offended that Toby peed within the 1st inch of the curb on your brand new mulch, shame on you! First of all, it’s just pee, get the freak over it. Second of all, you should be thrilled that Toby loves the smell of your garden! Third of all, the first 5 feet of every house property on our road is the town’s! That’s right, the towns! So boo to you and your nasty look. How many dogs do you think pee on your yard when you’re not looking? Exactly.

Third rule in dog walking: Eliminate every single squirrel. I don’t know how you’re going to do this but I said a silent prayer to God before we ventured off that went something like this, “Please God, don’t let me be dragged. Please God, don’t let Toby get lose. And please God, do NOT let there be squirrels because then all of the above becomes irrelevant”. We had just turned around from our half mile walk to go the other way. Approximately 50 feet away from what I spied to be not only 1 squirrel, no, but 2 squirrels scurrying across the road taking their time. Please, please, please God, don’t let him see the squirrels, let him get distracted. He’s got doggie OCD, it’s not hard. Sure enough, God did not hear this prayer fast enough. Toby’s ears perk up and for a brief moment I thought I was going to be a gift to the pavement, flat face and all. I grabbed the leash and circled and circled it around my wrist, until he only had about a half of a foot of leash left. I was surprised and grateful that Toby, my beautiful black lab just stayed by my side and just let the squirrels do what they were doing. You better bet your bottom dollar though that we walked very quickly past that area and moved on.

I joked around with my mom and said poor Toby is going to become the menace of our road, but with every walk, lies improvement and apparently a plastic baggie!

This Week. Period.

Monday morning came and my alarm was set (or I thought it was set) for 5:45 to get to the gym by 6 to get some cardio done and some calories burned. I did it – I woke up and went to the gym at 6 am. I had an incredible amount of energy and it was great. I was up until 11:30 getting all of my weekly chores/tasks done. Tuesday rolls around and with a scratchy throat, I regretfully got up again at 6 am and got to the gym with my friend by 6:15. I was so tired that particular day and by Wednesday I had a full on sore throat and thought it best to go to the Doctor.

I figured while I was uncomfortably getting my throat scraped to test for Strep Throat, I’d ask about my weight. Sometimes, I have a really hard time losing - I know mostly it’s because I stray from my program here and there and try to blame it on the salt in my bloodstream or my Thyroid’s inability to process my weight loss (even though my Thyroid is working fine). My problem is that if you compared me to a person of my weight that was purely fat, they’d truly have 28 pounds (or more) to get goal according to the healthy BMI for a 5’2″ person. I truly can tell you, I don’t/won’t/can’t lose 28 pounds, I would look oddly disproportionate (my body while not purely muscle, holds a lot of muscle, for example, the lifelong nickname of thunder thighs). SO I spoke with the doctor and she wrote me a note to be 8 pounds heavier than my actual goal weight.

Now, please hear me, I’m not looking for an easy way out, nor am I looking to be an unhealthy weight (whether it be too much or too little) but I’m so much more comfortable with what I have to lose now which is 20 pounds. I feel more confident that I can lose this and even if I lose it slowly, I’ll be okay with that.

So always check with your Doctor what weight is comfortable for you.

TGIF. Enjoy!

TBL & Challenge America

The Biggest Loser’s Campaign this year is to “Challenge America”. I watched this week’s episode last night because I missed it on Monday (by the way, the internet makes it so easy for me to catch up on my episodes, and I’m not going to spoil it in case you haven’t seen it). I have to tell you – it was one of the most inspiring episodes anyone could watch. Even if you don’t follow The Biggest Loser, I recommend you watch it. It was really something I needed to watch this week. This week I’ve been struggling with the empowerment of saying no. In other words, I have not and would not say no to anything that was offered to me. And I realize that this is a downward spiral – when you say yes to one thing, I realize you start saying yes to all the other things (this could be very problematic when I start having kids haha). You realize that what you’re saying yes to is delicious and tasty rather than eating your salad with vegetables and a light vinaigrette. You say yes to Oreo cookies and chips and salsa at your favorite fresh Mexican joint. And here is the key to this and was the key to The Biggest Loser last night: If you are a person who can say, “Yes, I’d love 1 Oreo” – GOOD FOR YOU! That’s awesome. However, how many of us can say yes to 1 Oreo, 1 fry, 1 chip? Food is an addiction and once you say yes to 1, you’re saying yes to all of it. I don’t have the power just yet to sit in front of delicious food and say no. I used to but I don’t know what happened – I lost that part of me. It’s time to gain it back.

Starting today, I’m doing my part for “Challenge America” – I’m going to move more everyday and I’ve decided that all junk (chips, cookies, cakes, anything “indulgent” really) gets cut out starting NOW. It’s time to make a new definition for Indulgent. I don’t care where I am, I don’t care what I’m doing, I don’t care if someone tries to force me to eat a chip, I’m going to say no. I need to feel the power again of saying No.