I was an avid kick-boxer last year from February all the way through August. I was committed, determined, and always present (in my mind, my body, . At 3 times a week for 45 minutes per class, I was toning every ounce of my body. Then I started swimming 2-3 times on top of the kickboxing sessions. I was probably in the best shape of my life. Kickboxing though, can be expensive, even though now when I look at it, it was worth it. So I stopped in September when school became crazy and I started making all of these excuses. I have no idea where those excuses were coming from…. I don’t have time anymore; I’m not losing any weight; I don’t have the money. Last year around this time I was on my way to being in the best shape of my life on my 27th birthday. I mean, I was doing more push ups than a man my age in military boot camp. Then I started Modified Paleo at the end of November all the way through the middle of December. I lost 5 pounds and was at my lowest weight in my whole life.
Then I went on a cruise. Then my friend died. Then Christmas and New Year’s came. Then work started up again. Then work got busy. Then I got lazy. Then I started eating everything.
Here I am, 8 pounds heavier, feeling yucky, and I’m about to be 28 years old. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a lot healthier than most people especially since I just had a full workup but I still get so down on myself for losing all the good I did for my body. For a few weeks now, I haven’t known where to start. And after a conversation with my friend, I realized that stress doesn’t help. But people and places aren’t the ones stressing me out, I’m stressing myself out. So I need to learn to relax and get back to the basics.
I know I’m not alone in this and for those of you that feel the same, don’t worry, you are not the only one. And you’ll get to it. Take baby steps. Read Perfect Health Diet by Paul and Shou-Ching Jaminet and just start small. Take a walk for 20 minutes. Swap something you normally eat for something healthier and be careful with sugar intake.
Just know you’re not alone!
You spill your coffee on your shirt on your way to work. You forgot to put deodorant on (don’t judge, you know it happens sometimes). At work, you seem to have a continuous day of difficulties with students. You come home to find another hospital bill even though you’ve submitted your insurance information twice and all that’s keeping you from reaching through the phone and strangling the billing department is your “you are a good person” mantra. Ants invaded your kitchen – the day before yesterday, yesterday and oh yes, today. You go to take the tag out of a brand new shirt you just bought and you rip your shirt.
Wake up at 5 am and clearly see every ray of sun rise up just as if you were seeing it for the first time.
Take a Yoga class, deep breaths in and deep breathes out.
Drive to the ocean no matter how far away it is. Take off your shoes and feel the sand between your toes. Listen to the waves crashing and how with each pounding the water always recedes and it always returns. Remember that you’re human and you’re alive. Deep breath in, deep breath out.
Spend all day thinking about how all those little things that got under your skin aren’t really the big things that take precedence in your life. You don’t have cancer. Your heart is in excellent condition. Your legs still work. Your arms and hands are vital to your everyday function and they’ve provided you with 27 almost 28 years of excellent service, they deserve an award. You know how to exercise, how to eat healthy, and how to swim. You will never let yourself go because you care too much. You have the value of 6 years of higher education. You are not poor. You have shelter over your head in the cold, in the rain, in the night, in the heat, in the snow, and in the sun. You have clothes to put on your back. You have shoes to put on your feet. Your socks don’t have holes in them. You might not have a time machine but you have a way to transport yourself from here to there. Public transportation is not a part of your daily life. You have enough money to do fun things and take vacations that most people can’t. You know God and God knows you. You have food all the time. You may loosely use the term “I’m starving” but it’ll never really be the truth. Never say Never.
Yes, you’ve experienced loss, heart ache and certainly other painful things that maybe another 27 year old hasn’t gone through and might not ever go through but you believe that people are given what they have the strength for and that in of itself is a daily victory. That in of itself is not a small thing, it’s a very very big thing.
Don’t sweat the small stuff because in the end, it’s not the big stuff. It’s just the small stuff. Let it roll off your shoulder and fall to the floor. Let your bad thoughts be lifted out of your mind and into the sky.
It’s not the big stuff.
Monday morning came and my alarm was set (or I thought it was set) for 5:45 to get to the gym by 6 to get some cardio done and some calories burned. I did it – I woke up and went to the gym at 6 am. I had an incredible amount of energy and it was great. I was up until 11:30 getting all of my weekly chores/tasks done. Tuesday rolls around and with a scratchy throat, I regretfully got up again at 6 am and got to the gym with my friend by 6:15. I was so tired that particular day and by Wednesday I had a full on sore throat and thought it best to go to the Doctor.
I figured while I was uncomfortably getting my throat scraped to test for Strep Throat, I’d ask about my weight. Sometimes, I have a really hard time losing - I know mostly it’s because I stray from my program here and there and try to blame it on the salt in my bloodstream or my Thyroid’s inability to process my weight loss (even though my Thyroid is working fine). My problem is that if you compared me to a person of my weight that was purely fat, they’d truly have 28 pounds (or more) to get goal according to the healthy BMI for a 5’2″ person. I truly can tell you, I don’t/won’t/can’t lose 28 pounds, I would look oddly disproportionate (my body while not purely muscle, holds a lot of muscle, for example, the lifelong nickname of thunder thighs). SO I spoke with the doctor and she wrote me a note to be 8 pounds heavier than my actual goal weight.
Now, please hear me, I’m not looking for an easy way out, nor am I looking to be an unhealthy weight (whether it be too much or too little) but I’m so much more comfortable with what I have to lose now which is 20 pounds. I feel more confident that I can lose this and even if I lose it slowly, I’ll be okay with that.
So always check with your Doctor what weight is comfortable for you.